Guido & the Monkey

The Knives Are Out Again Tonight

2006-10-17T17:11:00.000+01:00

It is Tuesday so we're back on t'radio in London 104.4fm at6.30pm tonight. If you phone us you too can get on radio without doing work and preparation as much as us.

0901 393 1044 - costs heaven knows how much from a mobile - and you can call at any time during the week to leave your soundbites, screams, impressions of politicians or other musings. 3,000 of you have to call this line before we make one penny - so don't worry about me profiteering from this enterprise.

Here's the trailer. Here's the miniblog. Here's the itunes thingy.

We're Back, Sober in a Studio with a Referee!

2006-10-10T11:59:00.000+01:00

The blogosphere's attack on the old media kicks off tonight at 6.30pm in the studio at Resonance 104.4FM, Piers Gibbon hosts The Knives Are Out, where my old foe Recess Monkey argues and gossips with Guido ahead of PMQs whilst being outwitted by comedienne Hils Barker. So tune into 104.4 FM in the London area or listen online worldwide. You can listen to the trailer here.

You can email the show live on rant@theknivesareout.com or phone your rant in on 0901 393 1044.

Escape from the tyranny of the established media's political mindset!

Belated Bercow Pubcast

2006-04-26T13:12:00.000+01:00

This Pubcast interview was bedevilled by technical glitches. Recess insists on still uploading it against Guido's better judgement. (It was due over a month or so ago).

We have had our artistic differences and will produce occasional podcasts in the future but not regular weekly podcasts. Essentially Recess wants more politics, Guido wants more jokes. Here is a lot of politics...

Geeky stuff: Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

What Lord Levy said to Blair After The Police Raid

2006-04-18T11:20:00.000+01:00

Geeky stuff: Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

Some Idiot Has Nominated Us

2006-03-10T15:29:00.000Z

Guido and the Monkey - Sober!

2006-03-03T09:49:00.000Z

Our legal contacts in Rome obtained a covert recording of a recent secret meeting between Mills and Berlusconi. Hear it all on the 'cast.

Guido and Recess tried a slightly different approach to PMQs for this 'cast, sobriety. Shudder..

Geeky stuff: Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

How To Subscribe With iTunes

2006-02-21T00:46:00.000Z

In the box that comes up paste in:

http://www.ourmedia.org/mediarss/user/73357

Click on OK and you are away.

Automatically our pearls of digital delight will arrive in iTunes and into your iPod.

Lynne Featherstone MP : Woman Behind Huhne

2006-02-20T22:10:00.000Z

Lynne had a drink with Guido and Recess and told us the tale of the time she kissed the wrong Willy. She's bullish on all fronts and she wants to be shadow home secretary. Hear why she couldn't get Clegg to run and who does her hair. Whatever...

Geeky stuff: Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

Huhney Monsters Pubcast Released

2006-02-19T23:28:00.000Z

Imagine you are in a pub in Westminster and overheard Jake Rigg and Richard Huzzey of Chris Huhne's campaign team chatting to Guido and the Monkey. Over-excited? No need to imagine it, upload it!

Warning - this is for hardcore political anoraks. They were a very cagey pair, the Huzzey monster even forbade us using his photograph. It drove us to drink...

Geeky stuff: Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

(Lynne Featherstone podcast to follow shortly.)

Huhney Monsters Pubcast

2006-02-16T09:48:00.000Z

The Huhne campaign lured Guido out of the cellar and into the St Stephens with free booze (and with the assistance of Recess Monkey we duly drunk 'em dry). We interviewed the campaign team - the press officer (Mr No Comment) and the campaign manager (Mr Soundbite). They were very sporting and gave a campaign commitment that one of the first acts of Huhne as leader would be to sort out Guido's membership card issue with Cowley Street.

Lynne Featherstone MP told us she wasn't going to have another drink and didn't really want to talk to us. Then we couldn't shut her up. She was Huhne's first backer calling him to say "run, someone has got to run". She also told us how things could have been very different if she hadn't got Nick Clegg's answerphone...

Hear it all and more on the pubcast, which Recess is allegedly editing - out soon(ish).

Podcast Producer / Editor Vacancy

2006-02-08T11:51:00.000Z

Guido and the Monkey are seeking a Producer / Editor for their podcasts. Currently uploading audio podcasts, with video podcasts planned for Q3. A familiarity with digital media editing and online delivery is essential.

Sense of humour and real knowledge of politics required. No experience is expected, because no one has any podcast experience. You will gain access to the weird world of Westminster, real experience of new media in a high profile environment. With over a million hits a year on their blogs Guido and the Monkey's respective blogs are read by everyone in politics, as well as by the media covering politics.

Contact Guido & Recess Monkey.

Guido and the Monkey's Hemming Podcast

2006-02-08T01:10:00.000Z

9.9 megabytes, 13 minutes and 46 seconds of nigh on sensible discourse with John Hemming, the LibDem's lost leader. Hemming suggests a future role for Guido in a LibDem government (if his membership card ever arrives from Cowley Street).

Geeky stuff: Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

Third Beta Podcast

2006-02-03T10:25:00.000Z

We're still in experimental mode with this whole podcast thing. Recess edited this podcast to make Guido look even more stupid and drunk than him. Recorded after the New Statesman New Media gig. One particular lowlight is an incoherent discussion about the merits of capitalism and socialism. We're not proud.

6 megabytes and 17 minutes of drunken, sweary political rambling. A little bit of gossip and a couple of jokes recorded on Wednesday. Click on Guido's face to download into your media player (should happen automatically, if not check your browser configuration), click on the orange button to subscribe via your feeder.

(Hemming interview is being edited.)

Hemming : The Lost Leader

2006-02-01T07:39:00.000Z

Exclusive: he had the nominations, and we name the names.
The podcast, "Hemming - The Lost Leader"
Guido and the Monkey drink with John Hemming, LibDem legend.
Also PMQs, the LibDem leadership and some drunk stuff.

Next pod on the way...

2006-01-30T17:12:00.000Z

...but who is Guido & the Monkey's special guest?

Podcast Beta 2 Released

2006-01-26T12:24:00.000Z

Those of you have subscribed via your feeders and iPods let us know how it goes. We are experimenting with the delivery system and ain't geeks. If you don't understand any of that, click on Guido's face and it should download and play automatically in your media player.

As a result of our beta testers feedback we improved the sound quality, which is now as good as you'll get in a pub. It's 8 minutes and 3 megabytes of political incorrection and commentary. Sorry it is late, but we were in the pub until closing time. We have priorities. Enjoy.

Next Podcast Tonight

2006-01-26T01:05:00.000Z

Here, in advance, is a handy high horse for the politically correct.

Test for Podcast Feed or Download

2006-01-25T15:00:00.000Z

2006-01-23T20:45:00.000Z

"Once you get past the fact it sounds like two O-level Politics students having their first pint (ie, it's sweary rubbish available on a myriad of blogs, including this one), the stuff about Oaten is, as Tim Ireland says, cracks about Oaten looking like a paedophile tempered with innuendo about Simon Hughes' sexuality (he's got a friend called Dorothy, apparently). All very childish, all very grotty"

Chickyog (not officially a beta tester, but had something constructive to say anyway)"

2006-01-20T22:52:00.000Z

"Were you drunk when you did this?! It's like a bastard cross between the Politics Show, the Two Ronnies and Derek & Clive. Some of it is utterly inspired, but it would benefit from being shorter. I think five minutes is a good length, as you suggest, although I actually don't think the [sound] quality's all that bad.

I'll try and give it another listen later and come back to you".

2006-01-20T22:48:00.000Z

"pissheads

I can't deny I laughed though".

2006-01-20T16:06:00.000Z

"Like the banter style and irreverence.

We’re thinking that the way you can improve the sound quality is probably by investing in a better mic and being careful where you record it. There are some cheap but good quality Chinese mics on the market that might do the trick.

You might also want to think about editing it a little bit, putting some pauses in between topics and maybe do a slight bit of scripting so that you can give the jokes some space to breathe. This may also enable you to avoid a libel action – Simon Hughes for example.

How are you limited by file size?

Have you heard of www.odeo.com? This might help you?"

2006-01-20T16:04:00.000Z

"Big boy,

Like it. Couple of great moments in there but unfortunately they were almost certainly libellous. There's definitely a way round that though - given, perhaps, more carefully cultured sentences. Sound quality could be better but that's probably a teething problem and clearer, slightly slower speech would go a long way. Other than that i thought it was great".

2006-01-20T15:42:00.000Z

"It's funny, I have to admit. That said, the sound quality is poor and could do with improving. I assume it's structured, but not scripted? You could do with clearing up a few bits and work on the timing, otherwise it'll just sound like a couple of blokes laughing about things in the pub, which is very hit or miss, rather than an radio version of your blogs, which is what it should sound like. Overall though, I enjoyed it, and would like to hear more in the future! Sorry these comments are so short...
Cheers"

2006-01-20T13:59:00.000Z

"Content was very good. Sound quality was quite poor - sounded "hollow". but then that afflicted DC's "first podcast" as well...
liked the "non-scripted" approach, but suggest you script it slightly more...sort of a big picture scripting so you know where you are heading.

i assume you have a lawyer who checks it?!"

2006-01-20T13:58:00.000Z

"Absolutely brilliant Guido, only criticism is that the podcast ended
rather abruptly. You could do with a sort of "signing off" message. I'd
recommend delivery via iTunes, perhaps twice weekly.

Thanks again for the great laughs"

2006-01-20T12:53:00.000Z

"Way too much swearing (by Recess Monkey) otherwise entertaining.
Think should be shorter and more focussed".

2006-01-20T12:50:00.000Z

"I definitely like the idea of a podcast. I just feel that this first
attempt lacks the sustained wit of your respective blogs - it sounds
like two blokes commenting on politics with intermittent funny bits
(Kennedy shat his pants?!) but not necessarily constant humour.
Maybe what is needed is a little more structure (chaotic structure
- but structure nevertheless) and a little less sauce. Although perhaps
it just the humanising effect of a podcast upon me - I like reading a
blog where the general gist of it is that it is written by a 400 year
old libertarian ghost with political connections".

2006-01-20T12:32:00.000Z

"First thing to say is I enjoyed the podcast enormously. I had a smile on my face throughout and there were a couple of 'laugh out loud' moments. Definitely something to keep doing.

More specifically here are some comments on what worked (and what didn't).....

* The quality of the recording was not great - may be down to a low quality microphone but worth looking at improving if you can.
* Speak a little slower - a couple of times it was hard to keep up (at least without the benefit of a few pints!). Could also edit in some v small pauses between topics or after 'punchlines'. Only needs to be a 0.5 second gap but will make a big difference.
* Loved the content. Right on the button and well delivered. I loved the anarchic style (reminiscent of Gervais & Marchent in their XFM days) & the way there was obviously some notion of a script/topic list that was quickly overtaken by the train of thought. The list 99 bit was not as strong as the rest, may have been better to edit that forward a bit and end with the Lib Dem stuff which was much stronger.
* The audio ended quite abruptly (unless it was just my PC playing up) - a gradual fade out of the two of you talking would be a nice touch & would signal what I perceive as the strength of the podcast - the fact that you probably would be talking about this stuff without the microphone but you have let 'us' in to your conversation.
* I'm not a lawyer (thank the lord) but may worth checking out if you should really go on record calling Ming an "Evil Shit" or suggesting Kennedy did shit his pants (at least after his 6th birthday - before then he could be forgiven). Keep it in if you can - but would prefer not to have to go out in the cold to protest for your release!

Hope that helps, I genuinely enjoyed the content & style so take the stuff above as well meant observations and keep up the good work - both written and oral!"

2006-01-20T11:50:00.000Z

"This is something the world has needed for a long time. I’m sure comments about the sound quality have been made by those more expert than I, so here goes on some more artistic points:

Its needs a bit more structure. Introduce different topics of discussion with a voice over or a bit of a jingle. Perhaps you could end with a regular feature? A song, a prize for the worst political decision, etc.

Different voices. My ears are admittedly not the most perceptive, but I can’t tell the difference between your voices. And I’d like to.

Cut to the chase. There’s a bit of unfunny waffle that creaps in sometimes (eg. in introducing the brilliant idea of list 99 for government ministers there was no need to talk about firemen). You’ll be doing that anyway if you are making it shorter.

Theme tune/Jingle. If it’s recorded in the Red Lion could you use the background noise of the pub as a jingle?

Good work, keep it up".

2006-01-20T00:39:00.000Z

"Hola,

I like the concept - we've needed this in Westminster for quite a while, I feel. The two of you 'bounce off' each other quite well.

A few thoughts for change:

* Jingle all the way! Music, gimme music
* Needs to be more structured. At the moment it's like listening to a couple of hacks chatting the Red Lion, which is fine, but I'd rather be told at the top of the Podcast what it is I'm about to listen to
* Cut down on the swearing, you foul mouthed little cunts. Didn't your mothers teach you manners?
* In the long run you may well need guests of some sort to liven it up. Though I naturally love you both and would gladly offer you the use of my man bits, I could get a bit sick of hearing only your voices
* Sound quality is awful - is it necessary to record it in a toilet?

These are minor quibbles. The concept is great, it should be a huge success, and Mark Oaten'll sue you to hell and back. Keep up the good work".

2006-01-20T00:05:00.000Z

"Very enjoyable. I think alcohol should be a requisite part of the preparations, to ensure the authentic pub banter style :) Opening and closing jingles would be good though - could close the show with the sound of the clerks saying "Lock the Doors!"

On the technical side of things, I'd recommend using a variable bit-rate codec next time around - you've got a choice of better quality sound at the same file size or simply a smaller file at the quality you currently use. (I used to do live commentating online, so I've got a fair bit of experience of computer audio setups).

I look forward to the next cast with a savaging of Oaten for burying his departure on the day of the sex offenders statement and the cannabis decision.

Have a good weekend gentlemen"

2006-01-20T00:04:00.000Z

"That's very fucking good, actually. Seriously.

Cupla thoughts
1. Libel. Yadda yadda care taken etc etc. Very funny line about Hughes' friend Dorothy, but.... hmmm. Wouldn't get away with it here. This is yr big problem.
2. Length. 5 mins would almost certainly be better. It's all good stuff, but that's just way too long. Regular 5 mins bursts could be quite viral around the web, and they'd be easy to email etc. Cult following very quickly, I'd have thought.
3. Subject matter - very easy at the moment - lots going on. Could you bluster through with as many gags without a leadership contest?

Either way, first class. Launch this as podcasts and, within 6 months at most you'll have a regular late night slot on radio. Have no doubt at all".

2006-01-20T00:03:00.000Z

"Good stuff. I think that 5 mins would be about right if you're looking for people to listen on a regular basis. sound quality was ok - as good as fm radio anyway!

Keep up the good work!"

2006-01-19T16:52:00.000Z

"Hi

Very funny and interesting. I thought the quality was ok - I prefer length to quality really

Good stuff, keep it up"

2006-01-19T16:51:00.000Z

"2 bits of feedback so far...

unless really necessary to improving the story i would cut down on the swearing.
also it went on too long and i think it would be hard for anyone apart from the avid fan to last.
it was good though but i thought u were much better than guido. which is fine if ur going to do it as a funny guy/straight guy combination. i doubt you were thinking this though.
i would also have parts of it scripted and would have a gag reel to be used (having the gags in front of you but making it sound improvised on podcast)"

2006-01-19T16:50:00.000Z

"Great stuff. About time we had one of these, and you're the right guys. I presume that between you, you can sort out XMLing a syndication feed so people get it automatically?

So, I like it - but I presume you're looking for suggestions rather than praise, so here are some half-formed thoughts, written while listening.

* setting: listener instinctively wonders where it is. thoughts: go abstract (inobtrusive music underneath)? or set it somewhere (a pub, occasional reference to getting another couple fo drinks)?

* play up distinction between "characters" - "so Fathers 4 Justice is a branch of MI5 now, is it?" very good, so why not play up the sceptical one vs speculative one or scurrilous one vs cautious one dynamic?

* listener also doesn't know how long it is - consider silly stings (ding the bell for the PR coup of Leo, honk a horn for the imminent demise of Ming,etc?)

* establishing and consolidating nicknames (eg Basher Davis) a nice hook

Good luck with it all!"

2006-01-19T16:49:00.000Z

"It certainly generated some laughs; I liked the thing about the LibDem race although I thought it went on a bit long to be honest. As for the whole paedophile thing, I think you should take it a lot further, really put the boot in, not just to the government either. Have you thought about comparing our system on this with the Vietnamese what with Garry Glitter just avoiding being shot last week?

A good laugh all in all, just needed less time on the LibDems and more time on other current events - Tory reforms, the Respect agenda or even George "the self publisising prick" Galloway".

2006-01-19T16:48:00.000Z

"Very very good, you have taken blogging to new level! Do you guys use Skype? If so can be found under my e-mail address. This podcast thing could be huge. May I suggest you mention it to Powerline etc so you could technically have and publish anglo-us debates etc. I am sure you have already thought of this. Also sponsorship, judgeing by the test broadcast Glenfiddich springs to mind!"

2006-01-19T16:47:00.000Z

"Ok, I liked it.

Just a few points:

* I think it's a little bit too jokey, it should be dryer, you both seems to be laughing at each others jokes a bit too much and then we miss what's being said.

* It should be more structured, Leo Blair kept coming up, deal with him and move on.

* Personally, I occasionally found the language a bit too risqué and vulgar (which makes listening to it in an open plan office a wee bit tricky!), I don't mind the odd swear word, think you might have gone a bit too far with Mark Oaten (paedophile) and I didn't really need to be reminded of Rebecca Loos...

* On the whole I found it was almost more "childish" than your blogs, I was expecting it to be more slick, sarcastic, dry and bitchy.

But on the whole I liked it, so keep it up and don't be put off".

2006-01-19T16:46:00.000Z

"Overall....

Really accurate interesting reflections on the issues of the week which I will look forward to regurgitating to my friends.

Well done. Really enjoyed it, though thought the sound quality could've been a bit better and it could really have been another ten minutes longer. Also it didn't seem like it was edited which was good.

A Guido monkey theme tune at the beginning and the end wouldn't go a miss.

It would be great if you released them weekly after pmq's as there is probably the most 'fresh in the mind material' to talk about then.

Content...

Hard hat on regurgitating Kennedy – Excellent.

The magic tragic trick is a very clever thing I never picked up on.

I can't believe what a hard time you were giving oaten! I honestly think he's the best of a bad bunch and showed the rest of them up on the joke of a sky news event.

Not sure abut the fumbling firemen".

2006-01-19T16:45:00.000Z

"Some thoughts

Beginning: Not controversial enough. The two of you have an inauthentic disagreement about Ming, and there's no hint really about what the topics of conversation are going to be throughout the podcast. At the beginning, the two of you sound too similar, so it's difficult to tell who's speaking, though your voices differente better later.

Middle: shitting pants is better. Oaten stuff is funny.

End: Kelly stuff fine. The podcast gets better as time goes on. Was lacklustre at the beginning.

The Podcast was missing an ending".

Beta Testers

2006-01-19T15:53:00.000Z

Thanks for the feedback.

Come Back Very Soon....

2005-01-01T08:00:00.000Z